What is Progress? An Alternate Route to Success

Progress: The Number

When I weighed over 200lbs, and desperately wanted to be smaller, progress was a number. When I first started losing the weight last January, and it was coming off quickly, weighing myself was something I looked forward to. There were days that I would be 4 or even 5 lbs. less than the day prior and it felt exhilarating. There were also days in which I weighed 4 or 5 lbs. more, having changed absolutely nothing about my diet, just simply because my organs decided to retain more interstitial fluid that morning. Those days I felt absolutely defeated. Nevertheless, I would step on that scale, scribble down my readings on a Post-It note, and enter them into the Notes app on my phone so I could compare them with the previous day’s reading, and the previous month’s reading and the previous year’s, and then look at the number I started at to reassure myself it was actually a different number than today’s number. There was something comforting in the math and the concrete reassurance I was outrunning my bad habits.

But what constitutes a “good” scale reading anyway? Is it the number closest to the number we decided was ideal when we started? Is based on health guidelines or simply personal preference? Why do we choose the goals we choose when we choose them? And do we necessarily have our best interest in mind?

The fact of the matter is, we measure progress with numbers because numbers are a tangible result we can hold in our hand or write down on a piece of paper, or log into an app, numerical validation that we can compare, and contrast mathematically to determine our precise location on the timeline of our goal. Progress measuring can be useful too. Keeping calories within a healthy range, increasing your activity level by taking more steps every day, tracking gradual weight loss on a scale are all proven ways to insure you are making necessary advancements towards better health. It’s when we begin to attribute our satisfaction to those numbers as opposed to the process of working towards the goal itself, that even the healthiest of intentions can turn dangerous.

When the reward becomes the number and ceases to be the process, it can be tempting to look for ways to manipulate the number to feel good again. Some people manipulate by cutting calories, by exercising harder or more often, and while these things can be done in a healthy way, for some people this control-seeking behavior can lead to disordered eating.

For any kind of progress tracking to be sustainable, it’s not just the means by which we are doing the tracking that needs to change. We start this process by establishing a better understand what progress actually means.

Progress: The Feeling

Progress is a noun defined as a “forward or onward movement toward a destination.” Nowhere in that definition do they specify a number. It’s not “forward or onward movement toward 110lbs” or “forward or onward movement toward fitting into a Medium shirt.” Don’t get me wrong, having specific goals can be really motivating, but they shift the focus away from the goal that matters most, the payoff. Your goal may be to lose 25lbs, but your payoff is why you want to do it in the first place. We’ve already established that there are a lot of people who reach their “goal” and then just end up moving the bar, so here’s something to keep in mind, if the finish line is changeable, it’s not the real goal.

The key to experiencing real progress is to have a clear understanding of what your payoff is. Why do you really want to lose that 25lbs? What are you hoping will change once you can finally fit into that Medium shirt? You need to be willing to dig deeper than the number on your scale, fitness tracker or app and ask yourself what feeling you are hoping to feel when you get there. Not only is that the secret to breaking free from the restraints of endless tracking, but it’s the secret to unlocking your ability to connect with your body and experience progress in a way you never have before.

Confidence was a huge motivator for me to get healthy. I never felt confident in my body. I was always tugging or adjusting or squeezing into a pair of pants. I was in a constant state of comparing my body to the bodies around me, and always felt like everyone could sense the discomfort I felt in my own skin. Because I lacked self-confidence, I looked for ways to appear more outwardly confident. This oftentimes involved alcohol or celebrating by indulging in snack food, anything that made me appear more carefree and drew attention away from my double chin really. I was also exhausted. I was tired of lugging my body around. I was tired of feeling like I needed a nap immediately upon waking up in the morning. I wanted to feel awake and powerful, and like I was harnessing the kind of energy that motivated people to make smoothies and go for walks on purpose.

So, using my experience as an example, and the payoff feelings I’ve identified (energy, confidence and self-esteem), let’s look at how I might reframe my goal and redefine what progress looks like based on what it is I really want. Then, we will consider alternative ways I could cultivate those feelings that don’t require “grading” myself with numbers. Let’s break down what that might look like.

Progress: The Alternate Action

I’m starting with energy because this example is for most people, the most difficult solution to wrap your head around. So, I want you to keep in mind that it’s me saying this, former size 18, pack-a-day smoker with a crippling cheese addiction and zero athletic prowess.

The easiest way to create more energy is to exercise. Please know that I realize how counterintuitive this sounds, but this is me, from the future, so please trust me. It’s not witchcraft, it’s science. Moderate exercise improves your bodies circulation by increasing your heart rate and in return releases feel-good hormones called endorphins. The good news is that you don’t have to flip giant tractor tires with a bunch of strangers in an abandoned warehouse to make it happen. Just 20 minutes a day of moderate low-impact cardiovascular exercise like riding a stationary bike, walking around your neighborhood or simply forgetting your reusable shopping bags in your car on the other side of an enormous parking lot will suffice. The only tool you need to use to know you’re doing it right is a functioning human heart and an approximate sense of time. Is your heart beating more than it usually does? Is time progressing? Are you a little sweaty? You’re nailing it! It wasn’t easy for me in the beginning to get comfortable with even the simple act of moving for a reason other than getting a sandwich into to my mouth. It felt completely foreign. But I promise, you will gradually begin noticing a strange, subtle sensation bubbling up inside of you. That my friends, is energy.

As you become more familiar with the sensation of feeling energized by moving your body, you will notice something else as well, pride. It starts when you find yourself letting people know you’ve “worked out” today. Sharing with them that you are heading out for a quick walk with the dog will make you feel a sense of control over your priorities you didn’t have before. It is when you start to feel that little bit of control over the choices you’re making, that you will start to feel like you can trust yourself to make YOU a priority. The combination of that control and trust, is confidence.

You may have noticed that what is happening here is a ripple effect. We have found an alternative way to create energy that isn’t temporary excitement in response to a “good” number, and from that energy we were able to cultivate confidence. And one of the most interesting things about confidence, is that as it builds, so will your self-esteem. When you feel better, you look better! You will also begin to notice that as your self-esteem will continue to increase as people react and respond differently to your newfound confidence. Presto! Energy, confidence, and self-esteem with zero math.

Progress: The Intention

If we want to build a stronger relationship with our body, we need to stop measuring its value the same way we measure trucks at a weigh station. We need to understand that numbers have the power to equate progress with factors outside of ourselves that we do not control. Becoming the most functional and powerful versions of ourselves means learning to feel progress and not simply see it, and working towards those feelings with intention. And when I feel the need for progress I can see, some tangible evidence of my compliance, I pick up a pen and paper and write a single word, “repeat.”

Measuring progress with numbers is a dead-end street. There is no numerical equivalent to the feelings you want to feel, and the life you want to live. Ask yourself what the real payoff is and take the alternate route. I’ll probably see you there! I forgot my reusable shopping bags in the car again.

The best version of you is waiting, so set aside a little time to reevaluate, rebuild, and redefine. You’re worth it.

With Love,

Mel